nice and quiet birthday

i opted not to celebrate my birthday, on the actual day, this year
partially due to the fact that my body’s still not up to much vigorous activities and i’ve never really been a crowd person

birthdays are special because we, as humans tend to forget keeping in touch or just not have the time to keep in touch with people we hold dear.. and technology is such these days that reconnects you with them, especially on birthdays
throughout the night and day, i’ve received countless of touching wishes which made my day oh so much more memorable ..

two weeks ago, i received a very surprising treasure hunt from someone special.. it was very heartwarming and touching.. thank you so very much!
and then i also had a surprise early birthday cake with faiz, michelle, jess and tl..

on sunday (exactly two weeks ago) i received a surprise birthday party, where only my close friends and people whom i hold so very dear to my heart and whom i do not get to see often, was present.. it was very thoughtful and touching and unexpected..
as much as i hate surprises, i loved this one
luckily it wasnt a huge group.. less then ten people so it was just the right number and very cosy the company
i swear i love all my friends!! cannot imagine my life without them!

yesterday, on the eve of my birthday, choy, whom i called to lament about me being all lonely for my bday, cooked a delicious dinner for me..
when i told her of my plight, she, without skipping a beat, promised me she’ll come back to KL for my birthday..
and she did..
her coming all the way back and cooking for me made my birthday all the more special
so we had a quiet, simple and super yummy dinner with her and her dad and proceeded to long girly chats talking about everything under the sun..
fun, sex, men, boys, future, kids, leala, marriage, CAPE TOWN!
we even skyped may who’s in Jakarta for a bit.. it was quite fun trying to communicate (scream and yell more like it hahahahaha) through broken microphones hahaha

i would’ve loved to stay over but my body wasnt too up for it..
i love my jie jie to bits… absolutely LOVE HER!
i really do hope that we get to move to Cape Town together and live there forever!
absolutely love love love love her!

claude called at midnight on the dot despite her being in the midst of her exams..
we had a good chat and i’ve not seen my wifey in months!
i miss her so much.. cant wait for her exams to finish so i can see her again…
love her so much too!!!

sue and jeevs, you are not forgotten!
thank you for the wish all the way from Paris! love you so much and cant wait for you to get back!
jeevs, thank you for the personal wish.. it meant a lot

what i absolutely loved about today is the fact that Alvin and Tai Leong, both my friends from highschool, decided to bring lunch over because i wasnt quite up to leaving the house..

they GPS-ed their way over and even got lost along the way haha bringing with them north indian food (good food i might add) and also a small cake from Star Bucks!

also because i was already chatting with Patricia, who’s my bestie in Melb, we decided to skype with her while we had lunch..

it was really amazing because it seemed like she was right here with us..
‘cept for the fact that she looked tiny and she was sitting on the coffee table in a laptop… technically hahaha
so  we basically had a very chilled out, fun and relaxing afternoon filled with heaps of laughter, catching up and highschool teen gossips!

pat trying to smile -.-
love her so much hahahaha

no pat, you do NOT look fat and you’re gorgeous and too skinny and i LOVE YOU ALWAYS!

i miss my highschool days when everything was less complicated and stressful
but moments like these, the short afternoon with alvin, taileong and pat, are moments that touches my heart far more than any thing else
its hard to imagine that we’ve been friends for more than a decade! 12 years or more of friendship.. 23 years of friendship with Alvin, 12 years or more with Pat and Tai Leong
spontaneity and great company always brings about great fun
thank you alvin and taileong for the great afternoon and very tasty food! LOVE YOU GUYS!

after alvin and taileong left, pat and i had a good session of catching up
always loved her, always will

half way through the day, (ping) may texts me and asks me for dinner..
she promised it would be a quiet one..
and since i wasnt too keen on going out it took me a while to decide..
but i’m glad i went anyways

all three of us have been friends for over 6 years..
I’ve known them all my KL life and somehow, regardless of how rare we see each other, we still connect on a level which is quite hard to find these days

we ended up having drinks with Lallu’s brother and his friends
and then headed to Marche at 10pm to have a quick dinner as we were all starving! hahaha
we got a chance to catch up with light hearted banter injected with talks of marriage and kids (hmmm this seems to be a frequently brought up topic… must be the age hahaha)
lets face it, we all love kids… all three of us..
and it was amusing to see how our lives have changed after college
we’ve never thought that our lives would turn out the way it did
well, maybe may did hahaha
but one thing’s for sure, we all want kids before we’re 30 and it doesnt matter whether we’re married or not, we still want kids..
thats just how much we love kids and how strong willed and independent they are
i love them to bits

i wonder whether this is a case of domestication or aging, but it is nice to not celebrate birthdays anymore.. not in a huge way i mean
i appreciate quiet lunches and dinners far more to parties and crowds

all in all, it was a very memorable birthday
i would not have wanted it any other way

be careful what you wish for

a year ago, on my birthday, i wished for more..
i wished that i traveled, photograph, meet new people, and experience new things
i lusted for more

and it came true

after my rather humble wishes, i had a whirlwind and bizarre year..

now lets see what happened
‘cos i’m still having a hard time comprehending my past year! haha

if i’m not mistaken, my year was pretty uneventful up till Miss World Malaysia 2009
i’ve not blogged about my experience as i never knew what to say..
but anyhow, from only wanting to join because the international finals was in South Africa (ya.. i know… but its South Africa man!) and i needed to overcome my fear of speaking on stage in public, i emerged as Second Runners Up.
it was very very unexpected..
but hey, whats life if everything is expected, right?

yeah.. i know right… since when this tomboy can walk  in heels and look like a girl.. hahaha
trust me, i was walking kangkang the whole time, at points like a duck, and also with my mouth quivering so much i bet everyone could see it a mile away.. hahahahahaha

was smiling at the StART Society kids.. at that point, all inhibition was out the window! then again apparently it wasnt there to begin with cos i apparently had a jaw dropping moment when they announced Mourhna was not in top 10.. (information courtesy of Claudia)
oh and i was waving like a nutcase at the kids to the right anyways hahahahaha

trust me, when i look at the pictures now, i still cant comprehend the fact that i’m second runners up..
ya ya its coming to a year but wth man.. it did not change much ofs my life

although i’d say the experience of being in a pageant is one of a kind, i’d not recommend it to people who cannot put up with the extremely competitive who are willing to do anything to get ahead
if you are considering a pageant, do be nice to everyone..
when i say nice, i mean genuinely nice..
do NOT in any way be fake because if you cant even be truthful to yourself, how can you be truthful to anyone else?
yes, at the end of the day, it is a competition, but there is no need to bring others down. you do not lose anything by helping others. nothing at all.

well then, my next big decision was to quit Stylo.
that happened towards the end of the year.
while working there, i realized that i did not like how i’ve become.
being in the fashion industry puts you in very close proximity with socialites, wanna-bes and the whole circus basically.
and the particular group that i constantly had to be in contact with was sucking the life out of me and i allowed them to.
i am not proud of how i was at that point in life.
it changes you after a while and it wasnt pretty.
but hey, i’ve learnt quite a fair bit from them.
i’ve learnt that if i ever had a child, i will need to be a parent to them and discipline them and not spoil them by being too soft or by being disillusioned into thinking that because i am who i am, my child will automatically turn out alright as well without me doing anything.
i’ve learnt that if you allow them to get into your head, they will play you out and make your personal life their playground.
i’ve learnt that certain people never change. no amount of tragedy will change their mean-ness.
i’ve learnt how to maneuver around two headed snakes.
i’ve also learnt how to be more private.
and i’ve learnt how to say NO.
i’ve also gained some friends whom i hold dear.

moving on, faiz, who’s been more then a good friend to me, decided that since i got second runners up, i should still go to South Africa to watch the finals because he had a friend working for the Miss World organization.
so after a long debate, i finally decided to go.
and man do i not regret that decision.
we had a 9 hour stop over in Dubai and so we took a trip around to the sights..
had breakfast inside the Burj Al-Arab, shopped at their biggest mall, visit the Atlantis and the Palm, and stood in front of Burj Khalifah

South Africa is really something else.
i felt at home right away.
loved the people, loved the weather, loved everything about it.
and of course, it was an experience watching Miss World!
it wasnt as glamourous as we see on tv.. the cameras did a great job in making everything look way bigger and grander then it actually was.

i also got the opportunity to touch lion cubs and  chance on my first international job

more pictures HERE

oh and did i mention that i wrote a letter to Mr. Mandela and he read it?

so after a heartbreaking few weeks back in Malaysia,
i headed back to South Africa to work.
it also gave me a chance to photograph as i finally got my own dslr

i also got to spend some time with the kids at the Orlando Children’s Home in Soweto.
and i met some people whom i hold very very close to my heart.
heather, prudence, ida, joseph, dede, baby ethan, altaf, danielle, snowdon, masoud, robert, david..

prudence, heather, ida, and dede

must say i really miss baby ethan.. last i heard, he could crawl and stand up already! awww…
i miss them all!!!!!

well, before anyone got a chance to watch the world cup, i got to experience the Durban stadium
it was a friendly between Namibia and South Africa..
we were lucky and the tickets were cheap!
oh and a pretty hot Namibian footballer kept checking me out tee hee!

table mountain..

i was privileged enough to be able to visit Cape Town twice, Durban twice, Port Elizabeth, Grahamstown, Petermarizburg, Gabarone, Botswana twice and also Windhoek, Namibia

i must say, i want to spend the rest of my life in South Africa if i can..
i love the lifestyle in Joburg. It is the place to work and have a close knit family life.
Durban is a place to raise your kids as education institutes are the best there.
Port E is gorgeous if you are a beach bum.
and Cape Town… Cape Town is where i want to retire and have my ashes rest for eternity.

sigh… Cape Town……
(still cant believe i was there and this picture came from my camera.. argh! i miss cape town!)

anyways, after a twist of fate, i found myself back in Malaysia
and in less then a month got invited to go to Bali, Indonesia.
i’ve never been too keen on Bali as its just too over-rated if you ask me..
but hey, at least i can say i’ve been there!
it was fun..
only because we stayed at club med and i got to do the trapeze! FUN FUN FUN!

faiz… can never thank him enough for the help and support he’s given me throughout the past year and a half
words just cannot describe how grateful i am to him
he’s been more than an amazing friend

amazing group of people..
faiz, amy and christy

after that, most the experiences were with the Myanmar kids

they are more than amazing.
these children give out so much love you’d think that their love is bottomless.
sue lynn and i bring food whenever we can
and we brought them to the zoo one saturday with the help of sanjeev and his rotaract friends who were more then helpful

my usual.. getting caught red handed… tsk tsk tsk

all the kids

the more than helpful and kind rotaractors!

these kids are refugees. some were sent here first by their parents or they came with their parents, some by foot some by boat.
but Malaysia’s funny this way, because Malaysia does not accept refugees so they are only allowed into the country on a temporary basis until UNHCR can find them a home somewhere else in the world.
i personally do not understand why there is this sort of a ruling because we definitely have the space and resources to help them out. so why not give them a fair chance as the rest of the Malaysians?
oh wait, its already bias anyways..

so on that note, we had to send Esther and Puiaa off to the States where their future is ten times more uncertain then a regular person’s.
however on the day that we had to send them off, i met with an accident..
it was raining cats and dogs and my car went out of control and it hit the divider straight on, drifted a little and then spun 4 to 5 times till i hit the brakes.
ten minutes after i left the scene, another car crashed at the exact same spot but they werent too lucky as there was a casualty.
so everyone, including the police officers told me that i am one hell of a lucky person to have walked out of the accident completely unscratched and alive as if i were in the car any longer or if i crashed a few minutes later, i would have died because this other car would have crashed into me head on and killed me instantly.
the officer told me to go home and pray and thank God that i’m alive.
i did.
the only thing i am not too happy about is the fact that i did not get a chance to hug Esther and Puiaa goodbye as i got there a tad too late so all i could do was throw my gifts down to them and wave a very teary goodbye with shaking hands

——————————————————————————————————————————-

this past year, i’ve realized who i am, who my friends are, and what i am truly passionate about and just how powerful a genuine decision can be
i absolutely adore my friends who’ve been there for me through thick and thin.. people whom i hold so dear they are like family to me
faiz, tl, choy, claude, andy + joyce, sue lynn, pat, eddy, piet, bhavesh, karl, alex, angie, may, lallu, linda, jiunn lee, dawn, heather, hazel, ray, rav, reza, jeevs, sharon, gabs, alvin, tl.

and of course, my family whom i was never really close to but am getting increasingly close

i had to make a few very tough decisions which still makes me tear till this day.
however, i had my reasons and whether or not they are understood, i stand by them even though at times i feel like giving up just because it is too hard.
but life goes on.

last year was a crazy year..
i fell in love with South Africa, i had a great African escape (private story), i got my heart broken and i broke some hearts,
i escaped death.
there must be a reason why i am alive.

so this year, my wish is pretty much still the same as last year’s.
only this time, i want more.
i want something more meaningful.
this year i want to show people what i see and feel how i felt and experience adventures through me.
i want to photograph in aid and to create awareness.
i want to help and meet and love as many orphans and refugees and mothers as i possibly can.
i want to see as many places in the world as i possibly can.
i want to live my life the way i want to and seize every single moment because life is just too short.
most importantly, i want to love.

so because my past year is testament to ‘wishes do come true’, i hope it could be the same for everyone as well.
this past year has certainly changed my life.
it has changed me. molded me.
made a firmer stance to who i am and who i want to be.

it has been nothing but adventures and new experiences and golden opportunities, coupled with amazing friends.
i’ve been truly blessed.

in August, i will be heading to Laos till the end of the year.
and that is only the beginning.
i will be doing exactly what i love.
so i urge you to live and do what you want to do and live life the way you want to.
it isnt easy, not many would understand you,
but i promise that it would be worth it.

just be extra careful what you wish for

happy birthday, me.

live curious

have you seen the new NatGeo ad?

i personally think that its pretty cool.
the IF anthem.
whoever the copyrighter is, he brilliant!

Live Curious

If you are you breathe.
If you breathe you talk.
If you talk you ask.
If you ask you think.
If you think you search.
If you search you experience.
If you experience you learn.
If you learn you grow.
If you grow you wish.
If you wish you find.
And if you find you doubt.
If you doubt you question.
If you question you understand
and if you understand you know.
If you know you want to know more.
If you want to know more you are alive

my theme for the year
is it yours too?

life is too short

to wake up in the morning with regrets.
so, love the people who treats you right, forgive the ones who dont
and believe that everything happens for a reason.
if you get a chance, take it.
if it changes your life, let it.
nobody said it would be easy,
they just promised it would be WORTH IT!