Archive for June, 2010


i personally love driving alone at night especially when i’ve got a lot on my mind..
it helps me think, it makes me calm, it refreshes my mind..

i especially love it when the roads are clear and the moon’s out yet its still a little cloudy and all that’s standing in your way of your thoughts is the music blaring from your car’s stereo

as i was driving back at 1am today, it was all that
i had damien rice’s cannonball on repeat
had all sorts of thoughts running through my mind
things that i’ve been procrastinating to give the time of day

and with everything bearing down on me all at once, the emotions were like a mad jumble of colourful yarn
i also realized certain things that werent clear to me before this
the realization was not pleasant at all
and as i put myself in someone else’s shoes, it got even more unpleasant
the guilt, the blame, all that was not said, all that is still misunderstood

and so, let me ask, have you ever come to a point when you were driving, with your music blasting, or not, that you are suddenly overcome with the urge to just stop your car and let it all out?
i did what i had to do
i let it all out

it certainly helped…
thou i wish it could have lasted just a little while longer

when i question myself

i’ve always kept to the saying, “live life with no regrets”.
its true that once i’ve made my mind up, and take the necessary steps forwards, i do not regret my decisions..

however, it is in the process of decision making that i at times question myself.
okay fine.. more like i ALWAYS question myself…
“Have i made the right decision?”
“Have i covered all bases?”
“Have i explored all possibilities?
“Have i put myself in someone else’s shoes?”
“Is there anything i can possibly do to salvage the situation?”
“Is the problem worth solving?”
“Is my decision the most rational and reasonable?”
“Can i live with my decision?”
“Will it hurt someone i love?”
“Should i or should i not?”

there are a whole host of other questions but you get the drift…

i guess me being complex and always wanting to better myself contributes to my questions
at times it gets really frustrating because you just want your mind to shut up!
like cant life be simpler?!
but the irony is, life IS simple.. it is us that complicates things..
so from human to human, we make things about a million times more complicated than it should be

for those who’re like me, thinking myself into a hole..
dont you just wish that you’ve sometimes got a simple track mind so you’ll be oblivious to certain things?

sigh~

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