okay, i’ve gotta admit that i wasnt feeling very the happy bout aging…
and on the 17th, there were a couple of plans here and there but i just didnt feel like going through with any of them…
last min during dinner, we decided to go to cloth and clef at changkat bukit bintang.
but linda got a sudden bout of diorrea so she had to stay home…
and than julz called and told me that he was gonna leave CC to head to laundry..
i was so not happy bout the whole…. thing! day! whatever u wanna call it
oh wait, did i mention that the house electricity kept trippin’?
nak mandi pun tak boleh…
every time i take the towel off and poured water over my body, the lights go off
so i had to dry myself in the dark, put the towel back on, and head downstairs to correct the ELCB
guess how many times it happened?
FIVE TIMES!
hahahahahahaha… now when i think about it, its hilarious..
i gave up in the end and hurriedly took a shower in the dark..
and tried to dress in the dark..
well, after that i figured out what was wrong with the ELCB so, well, i could put my clothes on in a decent manner….

and after that, manboobies said he could pick me up..
so i agreed and followed him to wherever he was to go
(so sad kan… no plans, no internet, no electricity…)
and guess where we ended up at?
some dodgy all indian (i’m NOT racist… i’m very much indian inside) club where there was a stripper wannabe… 
and worse off, these idiots went and told the singers and dj that it was bday and they HAD to single me out la… ish…
(i seriously hate being stared at…)
but i had baileys.. a huge glass so i was pretty, erm… contented? hahaha

anyways, after that we went to TTDI Plaza and into this club called TAO..
i like that place… the interior is very, homely.. 
a very nice place to chill out… have some beer… dance…
should really check that place out if u can..!
anyways, bumped into DJ Bernie there
and he knew it was my bday..
so he went up and, well, announced it to the club…
sigh~ the embarrassment…

nothing much happened after that…
but at 6:15am my phone rang..
guess who it was?
the FLYFM pagi crew!
hahahahaha…
it was hilarious…
fabes, ben and nadia were singing at the top of their lungs..
but it really cheered me up.
really made my day
needless to say, i couldnt sleep after that hahahahahaha

and today, i finally got to met khairy, vivienne’s son
we had lunch at TGIF…
wrong move kan?
i totally didnt think they’d tell the crew..
and needless to say, my naivity got me into shit… ahaha
i got the whole TGIF birthday treatment…
gosh was it embarrassing!
my face never burnt this badly before!!!!!

met up with usamah after that…
we went around pavilion for a while..
he got me a health bracelet..
really cute looking thing hahaha…
it was fun catching up with him after such a long time..
got to bully him even more.. hahaha

after that i rushed off for practice in ampang..
and i thought they all didnt care..
had dinner at sushi king with rav…
plus he said he was broke…
manatau after practice, he passed me my present..
and its the BEST PRESENT EVER!
its the silk batik outfit that i once wore for MIFA..
been wanting to get it ever since the first time i laid eyes on them..
and now i own them!
he’s really the coolest brother…
last year he gave me my dhol..
my beloved bumbleass…
this year this…
gosh~
how not to love him to bits kan?

oh and thank u for ALL THE WISHES!
its pretty overwhelming actually…
all the wishes on facebook, by text..
pat, raymond, albert, shengjon, seahway, taileong, jinwen, annie.. thank you! 
and of course, to will for the book (will always treasure it), ann for the dress (its lovely and everyone loves it.. thanks dear), to RAV (u know how much i’ll treasure it… and yes i love u heaps even if i dont ever mention it to your face, shy…), usamah for the bracelet, vivienne for the lovely lunch, linda and lallu for being there for me, bernie for the lovely lovely dedication, fabes and the morning crew for the wonderful birthday wish, manboobies for letting me be the annoying and irrational bratty bitch that i was, mwah!…
(all these little gestures really made my birthday)
and of course, daddy, mommy, thank u for being all notty and horny and having me
i LOVE YOU BOTH!

and also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY dearest LINDA! i dont want u to leave~
i dont think anyone else wants u to, either
sigh~
rodin, have an awesome and memorable birthday..
wish i could have celebrated it with u
love u both 

my freaking birthday is coming soon!
its in less then 2 weeks!
just imagine that
OMG OMG OMG…

i can feel my bones aching,
my stamina is running out,
i’m sleeping shorter hours,
i’m seeing wrinkles on my face,
my complexion is not as nice as it use to be,
my fats are taking a longer time to burn,
i’m feeling like i’m 35 years old inside…

yea yea yea…
me is so very the drama…
hahahahahaha

but yea, i’m NOT looking forward to my birthday..
AT ALL!
nobody will be able to find me on my birthday…
i’ll be hiding somewhere.. 

oh did i mention that i’ll be moving out soon?
i’ll be staying with annie
so i’ll have to start looking for a place as soon as possible cos she’s due to start work next month

and also, MAY IS BACK!
caught up with her yesterday
i like the new her
different but not quite different
hard to explain it
but the way she views things now has changed
and yes, ppl do change whether u like it or not
and i finally met Will Chua after eons of only msging and emailing
we’ve got some stuff up our sleeves!
its going to be interesting
i’m very excited
but there are a lot of things that needs rethinking and restructuring
oh well, part and parcel of life

and btw, i’m with manboobies @ devi’s corner in bangsar right now
some ppl, work 5 steps away from devi’s, and still wanna come back here on a sunday!
what a freak~

okay.. toodles!

so i guess my so called ‘hallusinations’ or ‘visions’ didnt come true
which is a freaking good thing considering i’ve been freaked out the entire day
but its not over yet
these kinda things can happen any time any place
so now if ever u read about my death in some freak accident like the one i visioned, u’ll know life is full of freaky shit
hahahahaha
but whatever
i’m going to drop it
hahahahaha

anyways, if u’ve never watched the movie ‘Amazing Grace’, please do.
its an amazing movie, like the title itself
it will touch a cord in u that u’ve never notice was there
but then again if u’re some heartless-bitch, it might not make a difference

other then that, in less then 24 hours, it’ll be heaps of ppl’s bdays
namely:
- choy wan
- may wan
- joanne ho
- zebby
- catherine wong
(and also a couple of other ppl of which i’ve forgotten who but i know its their birthday.. blame it on my goldfish memory)

so….

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

may and choy,
u’ve both been really good friends and sisters to me
i love u both to bits and pieces
choy, thank u for always being supportive and giving me advice and listening to me
u’re like the elder sister i never had
i’m so sorry i could not make it to singapore for your birthday celebration
will make it up to the both of u when i can
wishing u a lovely and memorable birthday
may especially (u know why)
i miss u!!
come back to malaysia soon!!
huuuuuuuuuuuugggs!

zebby,
i’m sorry for all the things u have to go through right now
i wish there was something i can do
and i’m always going to be there when u need to talk
or even if u just need silence
i love u
do try to have a good bday my dear
hugs u tight~

joanne ho,
i havent been in touch for a while now
we’ve drifted apart as friends
but i’d still like for u to have a great bday
u’re turning 21
its a scary age in the sense that, u’re finally, officially, an adult
there will be heaps of responsibilities coming your way from now on
but do try to live your life at a slow pace and dont try to grow up too fast
have a great one!

catherine wong,
i trust u had a very enjoyable pre-birthday celebration at scarlet last saturday
and we did some really ‘funny’ things
hahahaha
still, i’m wishing u a very happy birthday
hugs~

and also to joceypie
your birthday has pass
but i still want to take this opportunity to wish u, again
i’m glad to have a friend like u
u’re forever happy and trying to make others happy
in terms of personality, i think u’ve got one that everyone should have
but do know that whenever u need to talk, i’ll also be there
even if it is to ramble nonsensical stuff, share more music, or talk about cheese (like last year hahaha)
your randomness always cheers me up
and i’m pretty sure it does everyone else too
i love u to bits
u’ll always be my ‘bubbly’ hahaha
and its too bad we are not always in touch
but i always hope that u’re well
again, happy belated birthday
love u
huggies!

was catching up with her after a loooooooooooooooooong while..

oh btw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
wish u are here so we can celebrate together…

anyways, she posted this very encouragin quote on facebook just now at 7:13pm
i love her~

“Like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn’t something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn’t get in, and walk through it, step by step. There’s no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That’s the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine.
And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same” (haruki)

… this ton of dread that something really bad is going to happen,
either to you or to anyone else,
and it weights you down immediately?

have u ever felt your heart sink with a certainty that a negative force is present and you have no control over it?

have u ever felt that u are about to die?

it happened to me this afternoon.

all thoughts of the Cambodian Project was running through my mind
and then out of a sudden,
a sense of dreaded certainty, with an unpresidented force, hit me
and, as stupid as it may sound, a sudden flash of vision stunned me to stillness.
it was me, sitting in my car, watching a 16 wheeled truck drive straight at me and there was nothing i could do but wait for my ascertained death.
and at that moment, i felt as though i knew for sure that this is my death.
(you may say i’ve watched too much tv or that i’ve got a wicked imagination, i dont care)
and i was so convinced that this is going to happen tomorrow, 5th July 2008.
there are no words to fully describe how i felt at that moment.
but i know my heart sank with a thud, somewhat like an anchor thrown overboard,
and tears rushing and forcing itself to be squeezed out of it’s ducts.
and even now when i think about it, the sinking feeling and the tears are still there.
i can not comprehand what happened.
but at that moment, my world stood still.
for the first time in my life, my world came to a complete stop, albeit not for long.
the things i never did, the things i never said, the things i wished i said all came into view
they were like pictures frozen in time, levitating all around me 

all i remember doing after that is, picking up my phone and texting a couple of people
naturally my text sounded as though i was gonna rob myself of my own life (which i’ll NEVER do cos it is so damn stupid~)
nevertheless, there is one person whom i’ve yet said anything to, and i know i will regret that decision.

i know all these sounds dramatic in every way possible
and no, i’m not going to debate this issue
however, just to be safe then sorry, i’m gonna try to stay at home the whole day tomorrow

you can call me a drama queen,
i dont give two flying fucks.

better safe than sorry.

the Cambodian Project was conceived when i was in Siem Reap
when i was there, however short my trip was, what i saw changed my perspectives
they are so poor, yet happy and contented!
which is a rare occurance in big cities, contentment..

anyhow, this project is my baby
and i’d love for it to work out
but in order for that to happen, i’d need as much help as i can get!
below are some information about what we currently have and what we’re striving to achieve

the general idea is:

1. we’ll be running a few collection drives here in kl or around Malaysia
2. the collections would include clothings (new, hand-me-downs but not too shabby for ages 2 – 18 preferably 2-5 year olds ), stationaries fit for children in kindergarten, primary and secondary schools and medical supplies
3. during the 3rd and 4th week of November, whoever who’d be interested to go would go and personally hand the clothings, stationaries and medical supplies to the people there
4. targeted area, Siem Reap and the rural areas in northewestern Cambodia

also, there are talks of organizing charity basketball tournaments as fundraisers where the money would either go to food, and/or medical supplies or straight to a particular children’s hospital.
these tournaments are slated to materialize in Singapore and also in KL.

For those who are interested in helping out but not physically going over to Cambodia, these are the few things that I’ll be needing help with:
1. a core group of dedicated, reliable and passionate people with ideas
2. people to help with the collection drives
3. people to help with promotion of the collection drives
4. people to help with sponsorships
5. contacts! (very the important.. haha)
6. people to help with logistics
7. publicity
8. volunteers where needed
actually, anyone who is interested in any way, it’ll be good to hear from you

for those of u who are on facebook, do join the group
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=19865551643

and also if u’re interested, just email me at
singyuin@gmail.com

hope to hear from y’all soon!
i think its time we did something for them
and in turn, they’ll teach us a thing or two about the simplicities of life!
aint that wonderful?!

really down…
and its the kinda feeling where u just dont feel like talking about whats bothering u
and i decided to go out for a walk..
and at the same time to get some dinner
was walking around deep in thought when i heard my cellphone beep
i sheepishly took my phone out and received a pleasant surprise!
got a text from rodin!
that itself made my day cos i’ve missed him so..

next morning, i woke up to another text from him
and it made me smile
he’s hilarious
plus i’ve missed his nonstop chatter
his constant yet slow voice explaining the ways of occitans to me
damnit… if only friends without borders would also be friends without distance!

ahhh.. the little pleasures in life

also, caught up with bhavesh yesterday night..
was ranting to him and he was trying to get me to agree to him sponsoring my trip to singapore for the weekend (choy and may’s bday bash)
and when i say trying, i really mean TRYING! hahahahaha
in the end, my stubbornness won……. naturally hahaha
but the thought of it was so touching
honestly, at that moment, i dont know why but tears were threatening to make an appearance
but of course i didnt let it…
and choy also called from singapore with words of encouragement…
love them to bits!
and all these when i thought my world was coming to a stand-still
so like i said, there’s always something positive in a day full of crap

and i’m also receiving overwhelming responce towards my Cambodian Project!
which brings me to my next post…..