24th march 08
went to dinner with justin
havent gotten a change to catch up with him for AGES!!!
i’ve been bz..
he’s been bz…
we’ve ALL been bz..
so suddenly out of the blues i thought of texting him and asking him for dinner
and he said yes..
thank goodness
or else i would have given him shit as well hahahahaha
he’s very nice..
too nice i’d say
girls, give him a chance!
he’s one hot bachelor!
nice guy
nice to bully as well

yea yea he’s a bit chubby
so what
damn cute ok
hehehe
(justin, i know u’ll read this and u’ll be cussing hehehe bluek~)

27th march 08
i decided to go to mid valley..
didnt sleep so i thought maybe i could go there, walk around a bit..
maybe get some books…
ended up not getting anything
but there was this massive M.A.C. fafi promotion going on..
it was madness!
all the dolled up girls with odd ass stockings and wigs walking around…
aiyo~

that was the day that i met up with may and we had a long catch up session

and when i got home, lallu, soraya and azeem were in the hall
they were playing with jessabel

jessabel lurved soraya’s toes hahahahaha

jess lurves lallu’s warmest parts~
ahem~
kekeke

i have a vid of jess running around like a demented lil pup
cant seem to upload the pictures thou
will do it next time round

28th march 08
finally got to catch up with annjee!
after so many months!
she’s been my classmate in college since the first day!
although we did not have all the same classes but she was my closest course mate
and she’s so damn cute!
she’s petite as well
and we use to joke bout everything under the sun
although i’ll be the one doing all sorts of nonsense
but still…
and she has the same problem i have
we both were forced into doing classical music
so she’s now in the state of not knowing what to do after the degree
and i really feel for her
cos that feeling is not nice at all
its just total darkness ahead
and u’ll feel like u’re standing at the edge of the cliff
u cant turn back, cant move forwards either cos its a straight fall into a bottomless pit
and u cant turn right or left cos its a narrow path
neither can u go up
cos, its too foggy and dark that no one can see u
yes yes i know i’m a tad morbid
but thats just how it feels
like u’re lost
and stuck
and u’ve got no idea what to do or where to go
that aside, she’s always a joy to hang out with
even though nowadays she’s a bit more serious as compared to last time
who isnt..
cant blame her
life is catching up with all of us
the responsibilities
the future..
but i got to watch her teach ballet thou
she’s teaching part time
but we had to rush like mad ppl cos we were stuck in the friday jam and there were millions of cars and it was raining..
bad shape
and i slept off while waiting for her to finish teaching hahaha

so cute kan

when i got back, i tried my luck..
called lallu just to see whether she was around cheras or not
havent had dinner or movie dates with her in ages already
and sure enough she was around
so me her and linda went to mcd’s (i know! again!) for dinner
we were talking bout all sorts of nonsense hahaha
and poor linda always gets bullied by us hahahahaha
thou i’ve got the upper hand
cos somebody’s horny~
kekeke
EH! its NOT me!
kekeke

linda’s always saying something Duh’
and most the time our reactions would be

linda: …. (insert faint-worthy lines)
lallu and i: ….. >_<
………….(silence)…………..
lallu: stupid~
me: u damn smart right?!

30th march 08
went to the attic with dawn
she’s got an assignment to do
on jazz and its history
so we went there for the open jam
i suggested nbt or bangkok jazz but she didnt dare drive into town
friends had bad road accident
there were casualties
kesian
met Liew Marsh, Daniel Veerapan, Wan and (crap i forgot his name) their bassist
and they got to talking and giving tips to dawn bout jazz and all that
and one example Liew gave impressed me

Liew: chord progression can be seen in this way. its like say all of us, we have a day trip.
and our assignment and destinations for the day trip is that we have to go to bangsar, ampang and then hartamas.
so all of us set off in our own respective cars. it doesnt matter what happens in between, or what we wear or how we get there.
as long as we all end up in the same place and the same time. thats all that matters.
me: … <impressed> …

yes yes i get impressed very easily
but still, his explanation in layman’s terms were good!

its been a looooooong while since we sat down and talked
and it got me thinking how much we’ve changed and how much we’ve grown since we first talked outside sedaya’s hostels.
we use to do all sorts of nonsense together only cos we were in the student council
we use to catch movies every week during foundation and first year
so many other little things that made up the friendship

but i guess as the years go by, we all tend to get busy with our lives
we tend to click better with others that are around us
but the fact remains that pingmay was my first friend in kl
it sorta was family then
and up till now i still treasure her friendship a lot even though there were ups and downs like how every other friendship has.

may is one person i highly respect and trust
she knows what she wants, she goes for it, and i trust she will succeed.
she’s the kinda person who is mature beyond her age
dont let her size fool u!
the minute she decides to speak, u’ll know she’s not to be messed around with!
she’s one person i look up to
she’s the friend i’d go to when i need grounding cos she’s pretty grounded
and of course her being a girl helps as well cos not all guys can fully understand

one thing i can say is that, i’m really grateful to may for being enthusiastic and to help found rhythm rascals along with me and pam
without her, i really wouldnt have gotten things into focus
she’s organized, she’s focused.
she sets her goals, has the ambition and the drive.
all these packed into a petite body of a not-so-soon-to-be 22 year old.
i really respect her.
and treasure the friendship.
talking to her always sets my focus straight as well.

thou she’s not all serious.
she knows how to have fun too!
and trust me we have had really fun times altogether with linda and lallu and zul and the gang.
always a pleasure

(i think i lost all my 2004 pictures!)

2005

with manju at the malaysian idols 2 after party

nicky’s bday dinner in penang

2006

genting trip with the girls

hehehehehe
she does the blur look really well!
(may i know u’re gonna kill me)

charlie’s angels hehehe
thats henny and mellisa
use to be the noty student council members hahaha

erm something similar to this was put on CLP in the 9th episode..

during prom with lallu and zul
(no clearer picture)

everyone
splash of colours during nicky’s bday dinner

with lallu and may during zul’s last few nights out clubbing

ahhh…. the good old times

2007

after reshmonu’s concert at the curve

my first time trying to socialize..
albert brought us there
it was khailee and yuri’s singer songwriter’s party
i had fun
may and albert were trying to ‘potty train’ me to quit being so shy and to start talking to strangers

my 21st bday with gwen lallu may linda and pam

steamboat with adrian and the gang in kepong

before uncle adrian talked us into doing some meditation

lallu and linda’s grad night
we went out to celebrate with dinner @ italianese
and they decided to do the ‘la la’ version of counting hehe

after dinner @ the gardens

being interviewed for R.AGE
i treasure them

one of the outings to Agathians Shelter

2008

standing around making sure everything goes fine

one of the kids took this picture recently

may, as pissy as u might get bout me posting up pictures,
well, they are memories all the same
thou too many other occations to stuff in thou
but whatever happens, drift apart as friends or not, i still really treasure your friendship.

.. a few web pages.

namely these few

United Nations

How Stuff Works

UNICEF 

8TV 
(i go to catch-up tv mostly. currently hooked on the malaysian drama series called ‘Ghost’. directed by Ng Ping Ho)

google 
(how can anyone not like google?)

sekian~

shit loads of pictures..
and i’m still not done with the stylo ones..
faint~

these are from the shoot that me and andy did.
got on the lrt at tasik selatan, went to sri petaling, went back to tasik selatan, back to sri petaling and then finally back to tasik selatan
hahaha… one heluva ride

taken outside pavilion on the same day

this is vivienne lee
she’s hawt!

yi zheng who has evidently grown up to be a fine young man.
knew him since we were tiny lil kids making mud balls!
and now he’s a runway model!
imagine that!

grom airiss is his nickname.
he took pictures of me at bangkok jazz last year.
a very good photographer as well.
funny guy :)

final day of stylo.
performed dhol.
in this dress
escorted the sultan of selangor and dato dr ng yen yen again from the markee to the red room

my stupid toned abs looked like a tummy!

with andy.
he was taking pictures for edric chin (one of the designers for stylo)

kenny was in town!
guess what?
he’s one of this year’s CLEO’s 50 Most Eligible Bachelor!
he had the most sensible answers.
okok.. i shall super pimp him later on..

went out to social (22nd march ‘08) for a round of pool with kenneth
met michelle and bernard there
they then dragged me to waikiki too @ ttdi
here are pictures of a very drunk them!
sorry michelle! forgot to take pictures with u before u left!
oh oh and i saw rashid there (yes i forgot to take pictures with u cos u left waaaaay too soon)

>_<
trying to act macho~!

and now, more pictures of JESSABEL!

i absolutely ADORE her
hehe

alvin put her in his pocket!

see! she fits!

no joke~

end of pictures………………………………..
for now

meet jessabel.
or what i call lil’ puppieeee or jess
she’s vivian’s.

she’s tiny!

she loves the camera

she loves licking me

i love her too

alex says:
AHAHHAHAHHAHHA perfume whore
omg i am like tht too omg hahahahaha
ok la i really prefer perfume or eau de toilette to cologne honestly

dot says:
cologne smells like the masjit
hahahaha

alex says:
wht is masjit!

dot says:
mosque

alex says:
insect repellent ah hahaha

dot says:
hahahahahaha

alex says:
masjid la cik oi

dot says:
OH
oops
sorry

alex says:
HAHAHAHAHAH WTF WTF

dot says:
hhhahahahahahhaahha

alex says:
woi here got smell like masjid omg HAHAHHAHAHAAHHA
omg rupa rupanya ure so damn funny hahahahahahahahaha

dot says:
hehehehe
i cannot helpt it
cologne is a no no for me la
hahahahha

alex says:
yalah
actually i dnt like cologne cos it reeks of men’s ego
too empowering i hate it
not even sensual to begin with pfttttt

dot says:
yea
the musk is like a ball enlargement oilment
…

alex says:
ball or balls!
omg wtf wht kinda description is tht hahahahahahahahahahhaa
u and ur references ya allah
mmg out of the world pls

dot says:
kekeke…
cant help it
sorry
hahaha

end of snippet~evidently my brains are not functioning well..
or has it ever functioned in the first place? hmmmmmm

edit:  actually, come to think about it, cologne smells like the catholic church as well. i think its the incense that they burn. buddhism censers (incense burners) have a more distinguishable smell. very sharp and to-you-brain.

i think i just dont like the smell of mass conformity.

No. 1
Giorgio Armani, Armani Mania

this is one men’s fragrance that will melt every bone in my body..
its so fucking sexy on a men that i’d wanna grab him and do things to him…. hahahaha
or rather, bring him home, rub this scent on my pillows, throw him out, sleep sound-er with the scent (yea right~)
hahahahahahahahaha….
this also reminds me of men-just-out-of-bed
the sleepy, rugged, three day beard half naked firm body… OMG~!
its oh so super sexy yet subtle…
orgasmic~

No. 2
Escada, Magnetism

very yuppie kinda feel to this scent
i use to go to SASA or whatever other perfume outlets to get some samples of this to store in my wallet.. hehe
enough said.

No. 3
Hugo Boss, Boss

not many would like this scent as it may come off as too strong
but i think it’s middle and low notes are really hot.
it reminds me of youthful rash-ness

No. 4
Issey Miyake, L’eau D’issey

this one is another darn sexy one…
the low notes make me swoon as well, but not like what armani mania does to me hahahaha
this one makes me wanna rest my head on whichever guy’s shoulder and smell/melt away

No. 5
Giorgio Armani, Acqua de Gio

this scent was everywhere at one point.
but now that it’s disappeared a little, it’s making a really good second impression on me
there is a certain freshness when i get a wiff of this
its like an aftershave sorta feeling..
clean, well groomed, just outta the shower in a towel…………..
u get my drift

No. 6
Dunhill, Dunhill Man

yea yea yea… some will tell me this is so uncle..
but who cares~
its got the manly, i-will-and-can-protect-u-from-all-evil-monsters and i’ve-got-brains-and-maturity sorta feeling
very comforting sense of security

there are a few selected other fragrances out there that i find really sexy but i’ve yet found out what they are
so till i do, this list is all i can provide as a reminder before i forget again like i do everything else.

edit: i think one of the other men’s perfume i fancy is the Ferrari Black and/or Red

and also,
WILL ANY KIND SOUL DONATE ANY ONE OF THESE PERFUMES, as mentioned above, TO ME, PWEEEEASE?!
i promise i’ll be good~

reminder to self: next target for myself
dreaming by tommy hilfiger

okay.
i’m NOT the hottest, NOT the prettiest, NOT the smartest, NOT the nicest, NOT the kindest.
i honestly think i’m a nobody.

that said, now i can state whatever else i wanna say with the knowledge that I OWN A MIRROR!
meaning i sedar diri laaa…

see, ’tis the situation.

when i see a guy, whom i once loved or thought i loved,
or a guy who claimed he loved me, with another girl who is, frankly and very straight forwardly put, not as pretty,
i feel a pinch of insult.
i know this sounds shallow,
cos this other girl may have an amazing personality which i do not own, or is somebody who can tend to his needs amazing in bed and wants better than me,
but this is what humans do.
at first sight most people will go like ”omg~ if the girl he claims to love now looks like this, was i like that as well?”
u sort of question your self worth.

come one ladies,
i KNOW u’ve felt like this before…..
some men as well..
u’re in denial if u immediately say u’ve never at least ONCE flirt with that idea….
seriously, i’d rather he dates women who are way above me.
someone who is more successful (not that i am successful in any way)
someone who is drop dead fucking gorgeous (i know i’m below average)
someone who is super damn smart (i’m borderlining brain dead)
at least i would feel better.

for some, u feel like crap after seeing him with someone like that
and of course u might be bias as well and develop instant feelings of jealousy and envy towards that girl.
but some just bouce back by telling themselves that they are better and that they deserve better.
as for the formal, i think u’re not quite over him yet.
as for me, i’m not in denial.
i am over it.
but the fact is, he will always be a somebody in my life (only cos he unknowingly taught me a lot about life thru the things he put me thru).
BUT i will never want to be with him.
he aint the kinda guy i would want to spend the rest of my freaking life with
and for him to once tell me that he loved me more than i will ever comprehand,
well, i look at his other choices and wonder whether i fall into that category as well or not.

side tracking for a bit.
i do not regret ever loving him.
the only thing i regret is that i allowed myself to take such a long time to drag myself out of the rut.
i could have given myself a shorter deadline but instead, i wanted to dwell in borderline depression for a while longer cos self pity seemed like a comforting thing at that time.
i admit that i allowed myself to get into the situation that i was in.
any other stronger person would have pulled out the min they see the red lights blarring.
but i did not.
i ignored the warning signs cos the minute he does something nice, i would think that he has come around and have seen the light.
i saw and allowed myself to see what i wanted to see.
i allowed myself to feel only what i wanted to feel.
so the regret wasnt that i loved him, but that i let my usually firmly grounded stand and guard down.
i am, however, grateful that i went thru what i went thru.
cos it in turn allows me to further understand the people who are, have and might go thru such situations as i had.
it gives me the empathy and the curiousity to want to understand why people like this do the things that they do and why they act the way they act.
it also gives me a sort of patience to not immediately jump into conclusions and anger, although i still do not agree with abuse of any sort.

that said, i’m only human.
but i realise that i am human.
and i know that humans make mistakes.
but the difference is that i am consciously making the effort to NOT make the mistakes that humans make.
i’m not god.
i’m not a saint.
i’m not even smart.
but i do wanna try to right myself and i think that is most important in life.

all in all,
OMG~
was i thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat ugly a?

 i miss em so much…

havent seen them in weeks!!!!!

awwwwwwww……

i wonder how any one human being can take another for granted
have they all forgotten that they are of the same species?
just because some were born with a mega diamond-ed gold spoon in their asses,
it does not mean that they can look another person up-down-up and flick them away in their minds like little ticks.
no one, and i mean NO ONE is above another.

yes, there are some really great and powerful people in this world.
most are rich.
but have u not noticed that they are humble?
the people who are loudest and most obnoxious are the ones who are ‘barely’ or ‘half-way’ there.

it makes me sick when i see the so called ’socialites’ of the elite circle treat the people around them like dogs.
yea yea some may be polite, but its fake.
(well not all are fake and the nice ones, i respect u)
fakes can be spotted MILES away.

so just because u are of the elite, the people who ’wait’ on u should not be given any respect?
well, EARTH TO U, BITCH!
if these people are not there to ’wait’ on your every whimp, u will be a NOBODY!
(i might exaggerate a little but bear with me)
the people who work in events, every single one of them, are there to MAKE U LOOK GOOD!
with out them, u wont have an event to go to
with out them, u will not have a place to ’show off’
with out them, u are no one.

e.g. go for one of the many fashion shows and see these ’elites’ show off and fake niceties.
they’ll butter your socks off with sweeties u’ll die of diabeties in seconds!
and the min they turn their backs, u’ll be stabbed in all possible angles u’ll be dead a second time in their minds.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…. geli boleh mati~!

the people who work in restaurants, the waiters, the bartenders, musicians, entertainers, live-in maids, the cleaning lady..
these are not the people whom u should look down on
these are not the people whom u should shun.
they are humans as well!
they have feelings! like YOU do!
what makes u think that u’re the only person who has feelings and that u are the greatest big ass in the world?
who the FUCK made u king?!?!

what pisses me off even more is that people practically worship celebrities.
OH COME ON!
who are they?
they’re just another human being with a talent that can be show cased publicly!
they are just like every one else!
the only difference being that their work requires them to be on tv so that the whole world can see what they’re good at!
and i’m not saying that i do not respect them, i DO.
they have great talent and for them to have the courage to pursue their dreams, well, kudos to u
but for the other people around them, they worship them, they idolize them.
what for?
they are likely to have heaps more problems than u have!

like in a fairly recent event that i was at, we were all required to arrive at 4:00pm SHARP for rehearsals and sound-check.
our dear host was to be there at THE SAME TIME.
but what time did she finally decide to grace us with her almighty and glorious presence?
5:30pm.
FIVE THIRTY P.M.!
everyone had to wait for her.
everyone had to push their schedules to wait for her.
and did the organizers call to rush her?
NO.
did the organizers tell her off?
NO.
WTF?!
and to think that when others (musicians) had to go off to take a necessity, THE ORGANIZERS YELLED AT THEM.
the bloody cheek!
since when do celeb hosts get away with things like being late for an hour and a half?
being a host means that u are being HIRED to HOST an EVENT.
which would mean that u are still on payroll.
which would mean that u do NOT call the shots.
which would mean that if u act like a diva, u are UNPROFESSIONAL!

geram geram geram!

there are other times when i sit at the mamak and i see uncivilized civilians treat the ’ah nyehs’ worse than they treat their pets.
i tell u, if i have the chance i would walk over and punch the living daylights out of them idiots!
some of these men who work at the mamaks are probably smarter than u are!
some have degrees!
i’ve even met one with masters in math!
but just cos they could not find a job in their own country, and the other countries do not recognize their degree,
it does not mean that they are stupid and that they are there to serve u and be treated like crap!
use your brains, USE YOUR BRAINS!

EVERY single human being deserves respect.
EVERY single human being deserves some credit.

seriously, u dont have to do much
just smile, say thank u.
at least show that u appreciate what they are doing!
sometimes they just want someone to talk to!
they get lonely too u know.
i know lonely.
i’ve been thru lonely.
yea yea, if u wanna doubt me? come ask me personally and i shall clear your pity little minds off doubts
and being lonely isnt something that is fun to bear.
not being appreciated is far worse.
so why would u want to inflict such misery on another one of your kind?
nobody wants to feel lonely.

(some cases are different. like when one chooses to go out alone for a walk or to shop or to the movies, its by choice. not cos they are a sad and friendless person. its just that they would like some alone and ME time. it shows that they are comfortable and confident enough with themselves to be alone)

so come one, all it takes is a smile and a genuine word of appreciation.
one step at a time and u’ll make this world an easier place to live in!

had a last min call for a performance..
and guess what we were to perform for?

stylo.

of ALL the events in kl, it had to be the one that i was ‘working’ at
tsk tsk tsk…
was fun nonetheless..
the minister dato’ ng yen yen stopped in front of me TWICE and showed me the thumbs up sign..
hehe…
so i’m guessing she likes the whole chinese girl playing the dhol thingie..
coolio~!

not that i’m complaining
la la la…

this man was at the zanotti launch, heineken UEFA event and now this!
he is everywhere!
dont know his name thou cos i havent talked to him.. only rav has

elaine surin..
she’s the sweetheart who called us for the performance
such a charming person she..
bubbly and SO FRIENDLY!
a very VERY nice person

andy andy andy..
awesome photographer
great friend!

puvan..
the evil sort of boss..
trying to get me to drink and all that nonsense..
that aside, he is the mastermind behind all the surround sound u hear at stylo

i think i failed..
but what the heck
thank goodness i dont give two shits bout photoshopping anything on me
save my face looking like an ogre when i’m done.. hahahahaha

that said, i’m still gonna post up pictures of me camwhoring shamelessly
so what if i’m ugly or vain..

hahaha…
end of vain-ness

p.s. will be blogging bout stylo soon-ish
too damn many pictures to edit ddi. going nuts. 

i remembered the date
the fateful 13th of march 08
eddy told me about a month before that he was to perform at laundry with his band mates
and since i liked his brand of music, i decided to make the effort to go
(see! the things i do for u! bluek~!)

needless to say, i’m very proud of him!
awwwww~
i absolutely love him to bits! hahahaha
(omg i sound like his mom… jeez)

anyhow, here are some pictures of him and of the few peeps i met there

damn macho right?!

tsk tsk tsk…. he makes girls melt la this one….

he has longer hair then i do!

alberto! hehehe
always with his cheeky faces

rollin’ sixers’ groupies! hahaha
regina and prema

the rollin’ sixers performance is not one to be missed
so, next time when u catch wind of their possible appearance, GO!

YES!
i’m having a pretty darn good day despite having a freakin’ headache..
i am a very happy happy happy person..
lalalalala…~!
i’m smiling a whole lot more
feels as though a whole bundle of crap has been lifted off my shoulders..

PLUS!
i got what i’ve wanted for a very VERY long time!
i’m not gonna tell u what it is
but it is a dedication to what i want out of life

oh oh and and and i SEE THE LIGHT!
not the i-nearly-died-and-went-to-heaven-and-back kinda light u fool~
i mean, after many MANY MAAAAAAANY months of being frustrated and depressed, i’ve finally ’realized’ what i want to do with my life!
and trust me, those just out of coll and have no freakin idea what u wanna do with your life peeps would understand.
its damn freaking frustrating OK?!
not everyone has their whole entire future planned out for them.
and even so, not every one is entirely happy and satisfied with that either.
there comes a point in everybody’s lives when u’ve got to be selfish and stand up for what u want.
and than u’ve got to go out and live your life like u’ve never before
cos life is just way too short
u’ll never know when u’ll just drop dead.

and so, i already know what i want to do with my life.
it may change sometime down the road.
and as someone once said, the only way to make god laugh is to tell him your plans.
which is true in a non-cynical way as well!
but see, when the day comes, when u’ve finally felt the ’CLICK’ that happens in your mind… its liberating!
it feels like the last few jumbled up pieces of the puzzle is finally in place!
no kidding!
when it clicks, u’ll know.
and u’ll have that different sort of peace that u’ll feel
it’s overwhelming!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa……………

me knows what me wants to do with my life!
EKS!
i know what i want out of life!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

how cool is that? mwahahahahaha

here’s a little something to lighten up your day
“SILENCE……..! i KILL U!”

havent blogged bout few things for quite some time already.
since my memory is so bad, i hope i get everything right.
here goes.

may after months:
we had lunch, walked around a bit, dinner.
had fun catching up with her :)
she looks good!

jiunnlee’s first time:
see, the thing with her is that she’s never really been to a club before.
so i brought her there.
cotton club.
carliff’s friend’s party.
i’m pretty sure she liked it

my second performance at scarlet:
had fun.
this time no need to stand on that high podium alone.
got to play at the revolving dj console in the middle of the club.

dj bernie

the CROWD

me likes the bar

dj kash

liyana.
yes she is that tall

u can get lost in them hair~

spot my name!

rav’s piercing:

speakers and web cam:
they look so cute together.
especially the little ball of a web cam.
so CUTE~

cute little alien ball

mr left

mr right

heineken gig for UEFA champ’s league party:
was, erm, okla.
had a lot of rude ppl there.
was fun all the same.
to quote someone bitch relatively famous “its only rain, bring it on!” <softer tone> “i should have worn white thou”

jien showing jaggu that he’s not over the bet, yet

showered with flowers:
the stupid tree shits flowers

forced to wash car now

ish~